Eatin’ Good: Cannoli Kitchen Edition

I spend a lot of time figuring out what I’m going to eat during lunch most days. I spend probably an hour thinking about what my stomach wants, and whether or not I can run an errand and kill two birds with one stone while I eat. But on certain days I treat myself to something dope, savor the meal and return to work about a half an hour late then nap due to the “itis”. We all need to do things like that. I call it “preserving your quality of life”. Can’t let the man dictate your happiness all the time, can you?

This week I treated myself to a healthy helping of Cannoli Kitchen. They make some of the illest baked ziti slices on earth. Those things are hefty as hell. I have a pizza fetish by the way. I’d eat a slice a day if I didn’t know it would make me break out with acne and give me a gut after a while. But I still get my eat on regularly. I gotta stay Eatin’ Good!

I ordered my slice of Baked Ziti Pizza with an Orange Soda on the side and made my way outside. The day was perfect as it always seem to be in Boca Raton, Florida, so I took my shirt off to get ready to eat in my tank top. It’s the only right thing to do when your about to undertake a task of this magnitude. Do you see that pizza? It’s huge! I had to make sure I had the proper elbow room to hold the slice with both hands.

I eat pretty healthy on most days. My Whole foods and Barry’s Vitamins receipts can vouche for that. But I work out and am in pretty good shape so I cheat a lot. Everything in moderation, right? This Crush orange soda is probably the most unhealthiest thing I’m having for lunch. But I’m a fiend for orange soda like Kel. Check out the Nutrition facts on this bastard. 50 Grams of sugar and no protein! That means it gonna trick my body into feeling like it has tons of energy, but in reality, my muscles wont have any protein to feed off of to sustain to this sudden rush. I shake my fist at you FDA for letting things like this be possible. But hey, on this particular day I’ll indulge.

I started eating and these 3 chicks came over to the table a ways over from me and sat down. Two are smoking ciggarettes which is really fucking gross. Especially while your eating. And one sounds like the fucking cookie monster, literally. That same one starts talking about how she went to hook up with a firefighter and was surprised when she found out he had a small dick. I was amazed someone would even consider thinking about putting their wood in that broads smoke stack of a mouth. Her home girls ask,”So what did you do when you saw it” and she replies,”Nothin’. I fucked him.” Of course she did. (Note the girls face on the far right when she heard the reply. I took the pic literally right after she said it.)

After listening to that nonsense while eating. I realize this pizza might actually defeat me so I better start devouring it before I became mentally unfit. I ate and ate and ate and eventually the pizza was gone. But thats when “The Itis” came around for a visit and things started getting hazy. Luckily I had my orange soda. I took several swigs of it and started feeling the energy illusion that is in a can of Crush orange soda. I realized my lunch was running on damn near two hours, threw my shirt on and made a mad dash for the whip. Shit, I forgot all my trash on the table! Oh well, Ill be back sooner than later Cannoli’s Kitchen. I’ll be back.