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Our sports culture generally leads us to believe that life is climactic, that teams from the opposite side of the country, lead by superstars, work and strive toward the ultimate battle – the Finals, where the greatest team on earth will be ordained. Alas, the most interesting series in the West was the conference semifinals between the Lakers and superstar-bereft Rockets (Yao got injured) and in the East between the Bulls and Celtics, where fans were deprived from watching Kevin Garnett, the most agile and exciting big man since Hakeem, and instead had to endure Big Baby Davis.

Then, during the Cleveland-Orlando series, Lebron saved the Cavs from a sweep by hitting a ridiculously difficult game-winning 3 on Game 2. I can still remember that moment clearly because nobody at the bar I was watching the game at expected it to go in, and there was a simultaneous yell of surprise, then of joy, and everyone left that night with a smile on their face, hoping, futilely, that Lebron could do it again.

And it all ended with the vomit-inducing spectacle of watching Kobe celebrate of what should have been a Laker sweep.

If I can say one thing about the way the season ended, its that it did inspire a truly great tweet.

In explaining why he supports banning low-slung, or saggy, pants, Riviera Beach, FLA Mayor Thomas Masters argued that “I think society has the right to draw the line,” and succintly illustrated everything that is wrong about America.

Riviera Beach isn’t the only city that has banned the fashion style – towns across the country, majority white and black, have passed similar laws. The state of Virginia nearly banned saggy pants, apparently deciding against it so as not to become an international embarrassment. In Riviera Beach, the approval rating for the law exceeded 70%.

In Pine Lawn, MO, offenders could be charged up to $100 and their parents thrown in jail – I’m not making this up – for 90 days! For wearing sagging pants! All on the legal reasoning that, to quote Mary Gray, an alderwoman and supporter of the law, “it just doesn’t look nice.” I’d assume that racism plays a large part in this, but Pine Lawn Police Chief Ricky Collins, who is black, supports the law and notes “its not a black or white issue – its a showing your… underclothes issue. Its indecent exposure.”

No, its a police harassment issue. If you’ve ever come to wonder how it is that America has become a nation of jailers, where 25% of the world’s prisoners are housed, despite us only accounting for 5% of the world’s population – an astouning, horrific figure – you only need to look at measures like these. We criminalize everything. Even taste. It is difficult to imagine a democracy that tries to resolve social issues through the criminal justice system, through giving more and more power to the police. Don’t like it that some kids buy chronic and listen to The Chronic? Get the police to fill up our jails with these people. Don’t like kids wearing baggy pants? Give the police the right to arbitrarily decide which pants sagg and allow them to arrest offenders. And remember, no “but, officer, this is the way I like to dress” – thats showing disrespect to an officer of the law.

Maybe in a few months, local governments around America will also ban trenchcoats, visible tattoos, heavy mascara and black leather boots. Also, old women at the beach should cover up. Let’s allow our police to patrol the beaches to ensure this decree is strictly obeyed.

I’ve been living in this country for a long time and this logic – X is distasteful to me, so lets throw people who use/show/wear X in jail – is intuitive to too many people. Lucky or us, we have the Constitution, and we have the first amendment, which clearly allows for Americans to exercise their Freedom of Expression to, for example, wear clothes others might find distasteful. And we have the eighth amendment, which prohibits “cruel and unusual punishment,” i.e. jailing/fining citizens for wearing clothes others might find objectionable.

The more litigints challenge these laws on Constitutional grounds, and the more activist judges overrule narrow-minded legislators, the better.

Former Sailor Hassan Abu-Jihaad has been sentenced to the maximum sentence of 10 years for spying on US ships and disclosing information to Al Qaeda that could possible be used in a terrorist attack similar to to the attack on the USS Cole, which killed 17 sailors. Via TalkLeft, two 28-yr-olds who operated an illegal medical marijuana dispensary, where they – gasp! – were out to make a profit, are facing mandatory minimum sentences of 20 years each.  This is essentially the penalty for sexual abuse under federal law. Even that has loopholes – the United States Sentencing Commission notes that rapists are often paroled, particularly if it is their first offense; a rapist sentenced to 20 years may serve 6 years in a state prison and 17 in a federal one. So, the immutable message from Washington, whether the government is controlled by Democrats or Republicans, is that attempting to make a profit through the selling of a dried plant that some Americans genuinely need for medical reasons and many others, including at least the last three presidents, have enjoyed for personal use, is a graver crime then collaborating with terrorists to kill US troops or traumatizing a person by violently forcing sex on them.

Courtesy okayplayer

This past Monday, March 23, Hav and I headed over to the Lower (way) West Side to check out “The Jam,” the Roots’ new occasional live project. Tickets go for only $10 – cheaper then the beer! – and the venue is small and intimate, so you’d be hard pressed to find a better deal. I can’t find any photos I saw countless attendees – fans and official camera people – take posted online, but any shots of the band would probably have caught us as we were so close that we could touch the stage and, even the performers. In fact, ?uestlove shook our hands when he came out.

As for the show, the band knows how to lay down a groove and keep you dancing and bobbing your head as they go through it for 60’s psychedelic outfit-type duration. Well, for the most part. Songs would flow into one another, with an oft-bewildering array of sections and instruments and raps.

In some ways, the unfocused nature of the show is what made it fun and engaging. In other ways, its what made it frustrating. I didn’t hear them complete a full tune.

Black Thought would do a verse, then turn it over to some bald white dude who would play harmonica for five minutes or so and the band would meander on until they got bored. Citizen Cope came out, looking strung out, declined to pick up a guitar and left after moaning a few minutes; Dice Raw did a few verses; some other guest MC’s whose names I didn’t get helped out. Alice Smith, who I hadn’t even heard of at that point, is talented but seemed lost, slinking in her high heals and tight jeans and moaning arrhythmically. A pre-pubescent girl, who they introduced as being Australian, played bass for most of the show.

Check out a sample here. If you dig it, they’ll be in Highline through June. Check them out. Its all completely pointless and not very memorable but the guys are clearly having fun, smiles pass freely, you might get to give ?uest a high-five and you never know who’ll come out!

I’m kinda late on this, but a rapper from Minnestota – Yo, SOTA! – who calls himself P.O.S. has the most oddly wonderful cover of Pearl Jam’s “Why Go” from TEN. Ahh Ten. Back before puberty, back when our rock heroes were still alive. Dude’s touring. Check him out, and try to get him over to New York!

UPDATE: Hav/RM London have written previous entries on him. Click on the tag and check out some of the other great shit he’s done.